Sam Lapin 
slapin@fuse.net
859-663-LOVE (c)
859-689-0133 (h)

MARRIAGE ADVICE

WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE AT LEAST 25 YEARS OLD: Being single until you are at least 25 (or better yet, 30) is important for understanding and becoming who you want to be.  That is a very hard idea to understand when you are younger, but the statistics show that getting married after age 25 greatly increases your chances of a stable, satisfying, lasting relationship.  Talk to a few people who are 40 or older about this. 

MONEY IS THE NUMBER ONE SOURCE OF CONFLICT: Strained finances are the biggest threat to a marriage.  Plan ahead how money will be handled and don’t become slaves to your own spending.  It is very easy to build up debt that will follow you for years and cost you thousands in interest.  You don’t need the best car, newest TV, fanciest coffee, etc.  It’s not worth it. 

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FEELINGS: When you give other people the power to make you feel bad and make you feel good, you sacrifice the ability to make those choices for yourself.   Being able to choose for yourself how you feel is powerful and something you should work hard to achieve.

LOVE AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER FULLY AND UNCONDITIONALLY: That means loving everything about the other person.  Whatever choices he/she made in the past, remember that he/she would not be the person you love without those choices. 

COMMUNICATION IS KEY:  To a large degree, your communication is your relationship.  Remember that communication is a skill.  And like any skill, developing effective communication skills requires effort.  Don’t hesitate to seek qualified professional help.  You’ll be glad you did.